Mutually Devoted to You

Are you mutually devoted to each other? Then you're honouring and complimenting each other. There's nothing quite as wonderful as being in a mutual admiration society with your spouse! Just knowing that you chose each other above all others will help you weather the storms of life.

Honouring each above the other is a volitional choice. In our marriage of 35 years, many have been the occasions when in the middle of a storm our mutual devotion was more an act of the will than a feeling of the heart. And even today we still work at fostering mutual devotion.

At times when we still desperately want "our own way", we need to honour the other above our own selves. How does that work out? We honour the other when we do for our mate what we would like our mate to do for us -- whether it's doing the dishes, getting up with the baby, or just listening when we would rather go to sleep or read a book.

Mutual devotion says to the other person, "I desire to put you first. I'm totally committed to your well-being." Think about how good it feels when your spouse lets you know he or she wants to be with you. Maybe through a twinkle in the eye, a gentle caress, or a loving compliment your mate let's you know he or she is mutually devoted to you.

It feels so good to be affirmed, but don't assume your mate knows you love him or her -- declare it! Here are some ways to demonstrate your devotion and honour your partner:

* Present your mate with a long stem rose.
* Frame a picture of the two of you.
* Write a love note on the steamed bathroom mirror.
* Take over your partner's chores when he or she has had a hard day.
* Send your mate a fax declaring your devotion.
* Let your spouse pick the movie you are going to watch.
* Invite your mate out on a date that you totally plan. Keep the location a surprise.

Take a few minutes and evaluate how you're doing at honouring your spouse. How have you demonstrated your devotion in the past week? Now make a list of ways you can honour your spouse this next week.

Form your own mutual admiration society today! It'll help you stay "mutually devoted!"

~ David and Claudia Arp, MSW, founders of Marriage Alive Seminars, are marriage educators, columnists and authors of numerous books and small group video curriculum including The Second Half of Marriage and 10 Great Dates (Zondervan) Website: www.marriagealive.com