Unity candles are very big in the US, although it is unclear where it originates from - evidence indicates it may well be a far eastern tradition. It's a symbol of uniting yourself and your husband as a couple and also uniting you as families.
There are many different ways of incorporating a unity candle and as it has no 'religious' connection it shouldn't interfere with anything.
You don't say if your parents are going to be there as it usually involves them as well as your family. The general just is that you have a main personalized candle called the 'pillar' candle. You and your partner each have smaller candles or tapers which are lit by your parents. You then light the pillar candle. Each close member of the families (parents, children's, brothers and sisters) have an individual candle or taper which they light from the pillar candle and recite a passage as they are doing so.
All of this is normally done after the wedding ceremony.
As an alternative you could light each others' tapers or candles (I think that individually personalized candles would be a nice keepsake to put with your pillar candle) and then both light the pillar candle together, reciting a hand written piece that is personal to you. For example the two flames are yourselves uniting and becoming one as you light the candle together etc.
If you like I can write something and you could add your own lines to personalize it. It doesn't have to rhyme or flow - just make it your moment.
There are lots of websites who make personalized pillar candles but for your individual candles, I suggest personalizing them yourself. You can either personalize your own or do each others by engraving their name and symbols, rubbing the candle with a favorite scented oil, decorating with personal items and ribbons of a favorite color.
I know of a couple who purchased a candle-making set and make their own candles by adding her in of her favorite flower petals and some curls of hair for hers and she put some cut hair from him in the scent in his
Of you make / decorate each others be sure to focus all of your love and good intent into it. When they lighted the pillar candle they each let some wax drop onto the candle from theirs to complete the ceremony.
But if you really don't want to go that way then you can always go the same way as most couples do You can either print the vows / readings out on a card or ask the captain to read it out and you can repeat it. A lot of couples do this as it takes the pressure off and there's no worry of mistakes!
But there are a lot of couples out there that would rather tell each other what they mean them, then have to stay there and repeat what the captain just said. For me I would want to be able to hear from him/her what I mean to him/her then having them say it to me.
Victor Epand
Tuesday 16 June 2009
Saying Your Own Vows at Your Wedding by MJ Millares
It is your wedding, so make it you own. You are probably hunting for every book, articles, and tips you can find to make your wedding as personal and unique as possible. The best and more memorable way to do is to create your own wedding vows.
Traditionally, the bride and groom has little say in what goes into the words spoken during the wedding ceremony. Today, wedding officiants even encourage couples to say their own wedding vows during the ceremony. It reduces the mechanics and strays away from the "wedding ceremony formula" we have been too acquainted with. Heck, if you attended ten wedding already, you are likely to be able to recite the "standard vows" the bride and the groom say to each other.
So, if you want to make your wedding vows unique and personal, you can incorporate your feelings and intimate messages into you wedding vows. It creates an added effect in making you wedding more memorable. Here are five tips to help you create a wedding vow that could make your wedding memorable for you and your guests.
1. Discuss with the Wedding Officiant
If you are planning to personalize your wedding vows, you need to notify your Wedding Officiant first. You will need to find out the legalities, guidelines, and rules in drafting your wedding vows. In fact, by discussing with your Wedding Officiant ahead of time, you can get additional pointers, advice, and examples to help you in writing your vows. The Officiant will also inform you of the important information that needs to be included in your vows.
2. Choosing Your Topic
As in any other writting or speeches you make, you need to establish a topic before you start drafting. Some may disagree with me, but by choosing topic early on will help you stay focused on your wedding vows. One thing you must never neglect to include in your vow is your promise to your spouse to be. Then you can add some special messages, hopes, and dreams that the two of you may have talked about before you decided you wanted to get married with each other.
One thing to keep in mind when writting your wedding vow is KISS - Keep It Short and Sweet. When pouring you heart out, you tend to get so emotional that it is difficult to cut it short. Try to put yourself in your guests shoes. When listening to a very long winded speech, you (as the attendee) will start to wander off. So, if possible, keep your wedding vows, short, concise, and meaningful.
3. Make your Wedding Vows Official
After you finished the first draft of your wedding vows, arrange a meeting with your Wedding Officiant again. Show your vows for review and additional advice. Your Officiant's experience will help you greatly in getting the best out of writing your own wedding vows. Of course, the you will get the last word on what goes into your wedding vows but it does not hurt to ask for opinion.
4. Practice makes Perfect
As you would when you prepare for the speech you wrote for a meeting, you practice, practice, and practice. You know it, practice makes your delivery perfect. Even if you plan to read your wedding vows during the ceremony, I highly recommend you practice. You need to get comfortable saying your vows aloud so that you would not sound clumsy when you read it during your wedding ceremony. Just remember the rule of thumb, KISS. Lengthy speeches are less likely to make an impact and therefore will be less remembered. So, time yourself as you practice. If reading your vows will take longer than five minutes, try to narrow it down and focus on the more important part of your wedding vow.
5. Delivering Your Wedding Vows
I know that this is hard to do, but it is important to keep calm when you are reciting your wedding vows during the wedding. If you are tense, you are likely going to speak too fast that your vow will lose the wedding attendants' attention. Read your vow if you must, but it is best if wedding vow is delivered extemporanously. Just like how your Speech or Communication professor used to tell you. But, do what you are comfortable the most. If you are comfortable with memorizing a speech, then memorize your vow.
I hope that this article helped you plan a memorable and unique wedding. Good luck with your wedding and may your wedding vows remain your guide to a happy and fruitful relationship.
Traditionally, the bride and groom has little say in what goes into the words spoken during the wedding ceremony. Today, wedding officiants even encourage couples to say their own wedding vows during the ceremony. It reduces the mechanics and strays away from the "wedding ceremony formula" we have been too acquainted with. Heck, if you attended ten wedding already, you are likely to be able to recite the "standard vows" the bride and the groom say to each other.
So, if you want to make your wedding vows unique and personal, you can incorporate your feelings and intimate messages into you wedding vows. It creates an added effect in making you wedding more memorable. Here are five tips to help you create a wedding vow that could make your wedding memorable for you and your guests.
1. Discuss with the Wedding Officiant
If you are planning to personalize your wedding vows, you need to notify your Wedding Officiant first. You will need to find out the legalities, guidelines, and rules in drafting your wedding vows. In fact, by discussing with your Wedding Officiant ahead of time, you can get additional pointers, advice, and examples to help you in writing your vows. The Officiant will also inform you of the important information that needs to be included in your vows.
2. Choosing Your Topic
As in any other writting or speeches you make, you need to establish a topic before you start drafting. Some may disagree with me, but by choosing topic early on will help you stay focused on your wedding vows. One thing you must never neglect to include in your vow is your promise to your spouse to be. Then you can add some special messages, hopes, and dreams that the two of you may have talked about before you decided you wanted to get married with each other.
One thing to keep in mind when writting your wedding vow is KISS - Keep It Short and Sweet. When pouring you heart out, you tend to get so emotional that it is difficult to cut it short. Try to put yourself in your guests shoes. When listening to a very long winded speech, you (as the attendee) will start to wander off. So, if possible, keep your wedding vows, short, concise, and meaningful.
3. Make your Wedding Vows Official
After you finished the first draft of your wedding vows, arrange a meeting with your Wedding Officiant again. Show your vows for review and additional advice. Your Officiant's experience will help you greatly in getting the best out of writing your own wedding vows. Of course, the you will get the last word on what goes into your wedding vows but it does not hurt to ask for opinion.
4. Practice makes Perfect
As you would when you prepare for the speech you wrote for a meeting, you practice, practice, and practice. You know it, practice makes your delivery perfect. Even if you plan to read your wedding vows during the ceremony, I highly recommend you practice. You need to get comfortable saying your vows aloud so that you would not sound clumsy when you read it during your wedding ceremony. Just remember the rule of thumb, KISS. Lengthy speeches are less likely to make an impact and therefore will be less remembered. So, time yourself as you practice. If reading your vows will take longer than five minutes, try to narrow it down and focus on the more important part of your wedding vow.
5. Delivering Your Wedding Vows
I know that this is hard to do, but it is important to keep calm when you are reciting your wedding vows during the wedding. If you are tense, you are likely going to speak too fast that your vow will lose the wedding attendants' attention. Read your vow if you must, but it is best if wedding vow is delivered extemporanously. Just like how your Speech or Communication professor used to tell you. But, do what you are comfortable the most. If you are comfortable with memorizing a speech, then memorize your vow.
I hope that this article helped you plan a memorable and unique wedding. Good luck with your wedding and may your wedding vows remain your guide to a happy and fruitful relationship.
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