Deciding for Myself

There was still something missing in my life, and I didn't know what it was. I wasn't sure where to find it.

I thought I had everything I needed.

Growing up in Alexandria, Egypt, in a comfortable home with my parents, sisters and brother, I had little to complain about. My father worked for a petroleum company for many years before going to work as the manager of the American School in Egypt.

In some ways, I was like the English-speaking, foreign students that attended my father's school. They had a safe place where they could be with other people that shared something in common with them. I found my security in my parents' faith.

My family were Christians, like some 8-10 percent of the people in Egypt. Our family had been Christians for many generations. We knew that we were different from most of the people in our country, but that was okay. No one could say, "I hate you!" Now it is very different, but that was fifteen or twenty years ago. We had our own community, and I was content.

My father was a leader in our church and we spent a lot of time there. I prided myself on being a good girl. I did not do anything wrong. I did not think bad thoughts. I was okay.

But as I got to be a teenager, I realized that just following what my parents believed was not enough for me. There was still something missing, and I didn't know what it was. I wasn't sure where to find it.

Then my brother went away on a retreat for a week. When he came back, I almost couldn't recognize him. He was so different. He had always had a temper, but it was gone!

I finally had to ask him what had happened. He was very calm and quiet as he said, "Do you really want to know what has happened to me?" When I told him that I did, he told me that there was another retreat coming up. He said he would talk to the leader and see if I could come.

At the conference, on the very first day, the speaker began to talk about someone who sounded a lot like me. "Don't think because you are good or because you call yourself a Christian that you don't need Jesus Christ in your life." I wasn't sure what he meant, but I wanted to know.

The more I heard during the retreat, the more I thought about his words. Maybe he isn't talking about me, I thought. Maybe he's talking about people who do bad things and need to change their lives.

But he kept telling us, "Don't waste this opportunity. You have to decide."

One night he stood at the front and asked us again to decide. He said, "If anyone wants to surrender their lives to Christ, they can raise their hands right now and we can pray." Some people did, but I was a little shy–and I still didn't want anyone to think that I wasn't a good Christian–so I sat still. After a little while, the speaker told us that our time together that night was coming to a close.

"I will leave a minute, if there is anyone else who would like to raise their hand."

I couldn't sit still any longer. I realized that this was the answer that I had been looking for. I had to decide for myself what would set me apart.

I raised my hand and prayed a prayer something like this:

Lord Jesus, I want to know you. Thank you for dying on the cross for me. I ask you to come in and be my Saviour. Thank you for loving me, forgiving my sins and giving me eternal life. Help me to be the person you want me to be.

Like my brother, I was different. When I returned home, my mother, sisters and friends remarked at the change in me. I was not as stubborn as I had been and I didn't argue with everyone all the time the way I had before the retreat. The little things my sisters did that used to make me so angry started not to bother me as much.

Before I asked Jesus into my life, I had a Bible that I didn't read. I did not spend time talking with God each day. After the retreat, I had the desire to know more about God and talk to Him every day. I was happier; I had a sense of purpose. I finally understood what my parents' faith was all about.

From that time to this, I feel I have grown in the grace and knowledge of God. Having Jesus in my life has given me the strength to get through anything. When my husband thought that we should leave Egypt to come to Canada, I did not agree 100%. Though it meant some better opportunities for our twin boys, I was still very close to my family. My husband had family living in Canada, but leaving Egypt for me meant leaving all of my family behind–everything we had ever known.

For ten years, my husband applied to go to Canada and for ten years I prayed that God would do what was best for us. Finally, after ten years, our application was accepted. I had been praying that God would give me the strength to accept this, and He did.

Now I work for an organization that helps people to find answers to some of the questions that I was asking so many years ago. I know that I am doing what God wants me to do. He set me apart when I chose to follow Him.

Take a look at your life. How would you describe it? Contented? Rushed? Exciting? Stressful? Moving forward? Holding back? For many of us it’s all of the above at times. There are things we dream of doing one day, there are things we wish we could forget. In the Bible, it says that Jesus came to make all things new. What would your life look like if you could start over with a clean slate?

Living with hope

If you are looking for peace, there is a way to balance your life. No one can be perfect, or have a perfect life. But every one of us has the opportunity to experience perfect grace through a personal relationship with God through His Son, Jesus Christ.

You can receive Christ right now by faith through prayer. Praying is simply talking to God. God knows your heart and is not so concerned with your words as He is with the attitude of your heart. Here's a suggested prayer:

Lord Jesus, I want to know you personally. Thank you for dying on the cross for my sins. I open the door of my life to you and ask you to come in as my Savior and Lord. Take control of my life. Thank you for forgiving my sins and giving me eternal life. Make me the kind of person you want me to be.

Does this prayer express the desire of your heart? You can pray it right now, and Jesus Christ will come into your life, just as He promised.

Is this the life for you?

If you invited Christ into your life, thank God often that He is in your life, that He will never leave you and that you have eternal life. As you learn more about your relationship with God, and how much He loves you, you'll experience life to the fullest.

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