Tuesday 12 May 2009

5 Tips to Fix a Sexless Marriage Or Relationship

If you're in a sexless marriage or relationship and wish to change it to the better, this article is definitely for you, and I urge you to read it through. In order to fix a sexless marriage you need to be able to take a step back from what is happening to you and look at things objectively. I know it's hard as you must be going through an emotional turmoil, but trust me, it's the best sexless marriage advice I can give because it needs to be done. If you let your perspective be clouded by your emotions, it would be difficult for you to fix your sexless marriage.

Here are some tips to fix a sexless marriage or Relationship

1. Don't think it's all about you - Often you tend to blame yourself that your partner is not sleeping with you. Again, it's understandable that you feel rejected, confused, and hurt. But more often than not, this has little to do directly with you and stems from deeper relationship issues.

2. Don't be a victim - Feeling sorry for yourself is the easiest thing to do. You feel that you've been done wrong and you just want someone to offer you compassion. Well, tough luck, feeling sorry for yourself is counterproductive as it will not bring any intimacy back into your marriage or relationship. If you truly wish to fix your sexless marriage, stop playing the victim and realize that this is entirely within your power to change the direction your marriage has taken. It's also entirely up to you to start the process.

3. Don't play the blame game - It's easy to start throwing blame around either at yourself or at your partner. Both of these courses are the wrong path to take. Playing the blame game will not lead anywhere, it will only deepen the rift between you and your partner. Realize that the blame is probably not with either of you solely. You both share the responsibility for everything that happens in your relationship.

4. Look to the past - Sexless marriages don't just spring up out of thin air. They are just symptoms of other, deeper relationship issues between you and your partner. One of the ways to figure out what went wrong and how to correct it is to think back to a time before your relationship difficulties began. What was different then that isn't that way now? More often than not, you will find that something about your relationship or your life together has changed. At other times outside factors like a change in employment conditions may have happened and contributed to the relationship problems you now have. Before you can solve the problem, you need to recognize the causes. Look to the past and the answer will probably stare at you right in the face.

5. Look to the future - Of course, not everything that went well in the past can be duplicated in the present or future; you may kids now, or work different hours, or anything else which may constitute a big part of your life. However, that doesn't mean that you can't change your relationship for the better. And that's really one of the keys to solving most sexless relationships, the idea of change and applying that idea. Once you realize that something or things in your past triggered this condition, you can take action to fix your sexless marriage or relationship by taking steps to reduce the effect of that 'thing'. For instance, if your relationship started to turn sexless after you had children, you should strive to make time for you and your partner away from you kids. Taking a weekend off is a great idea which can really get the fire roaring again between you. You know what happened in the past and so you can get creative in the future.

Take these 5 steps and you will be much closer to fixing your sexless marriage or relationship.

1 comment:

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