Singleness

Believe me, I know about being single. At first, my friends and I would moan the dilemmas of being single, all the while thinking that it would only be for a while. Then as I've gotten older, single women have approached me and asked in disbelief, "How could you have survived being single all these years?"

It's hard to tell when a person officially becomes single but whatever the age, singles share some common characteristics:

Singles are independent. No one else will take out the garbage or change the light bulbs. In order to get things done, singles must do it themselves.

Singles are free. They can go to the movies when they want, buy the outfit they want, clean house whenever. They have "free" time that married people wish they had. They have dollars they can spend on themselves.

Singles are lonely. They don't have anyone in whose life they are number one. They don't have anyone to buy them flowers, take them to dinner or share their intimate thoughts and dreams.

Singles are often uncommitted. If something doesn't benefit them, they won't do it.

Singles want to belong, to fit in somewhere. They want to know they are making a valuable contribution to society.

Singles also have a lot of challenges:

The most common challenge singles face is the comments: "You're how old?" "Why aren't you married?" "What's a nice girl like you doing single?"

Family members often poke, "Well I guess I'll never get a son-in-law." "Boy, isn't it about time you gave me a brother-in-law?" "All your cousins are married and having children. When is it your turn?"

What do you say? A classic line is "I haven't found the man who could make me as happy as I deserve to be."

Another dilemma singles face is, "Where do I fit into society?" Just about anywhere, these days. John Naisbitt in his best selling book Megatrends states: "The basic building block of society is now the individual, rather than the family."

Being single is challenging. Single women often feel like the lone sock lying in the dryer – left there until its mate is found. They're in a holding pattern, left lying somewhere until they get a mate. They feel there must be something wrong with them – that God has abandoned them or forgotten them.

In all of my reading and studying of the Bible, I have come to the conclusion that singles are whole people in God's eyes. They have each been given unique talents and skills, that can and should be employed. They each have a purpose, whether they remain single or get married.

Being single is just a state of being, not a sentence. Singles are not one sock waiting for another sock before they become useful. Rather than waiting to become the spouse they would like to be, they need to find their fulfilment in becoming the individual God intended them to be.

Live each day to its fullest!

~ Shirley Loewen works for a non-profit organization in project development and is an executive assistant. She loves to dabble in music, reading, jogging, biking, gardening, crafts and fishing. In December of 1992, she married Ken Loewen and acquired two steps-sons, Jason and Ryan, and one step-daughter, Jana.