The Secrets to Successful Relocating

You can always recognize the long anticipated signs of spring. Spring marks the arrival of new blooms and the return of our friends in nature. Another common sign that spring has officially sprung is the unmistakable new crop of ‘for sale’ signs popping up on front lawns all over town. Embarking upon a new relocation adventure, families will find themselves relocating for careers, to upgrade their current residence, or to move closer to their extended family.

beyond your abilityThe excitement, wonder and nerves associated with moving can feel quite overwhelming for adults. Between wondering what to purge and what to pack, and finding a school district that meets your needs and expectations, helping your ‘new family on the block’ make a smooth transition while relocating isn’t always an easy feat.

For a child, moving across town or across the country can be traumatic. Leaving the only house he has known, or the neighborhood and friends he’s attached to rocks a child’s security and sometimes shakes his self esteem and confidence. Adding to the challenges facing parents on the move are the personal pressures and strain that relocating can put on you as an adult, partner, or spouse.

You may know how many bedrooms your new house must have, or whether you’re looking for public or private schools, but do you know how to help your family make new friends or find a new veterinarian? Knowing a few proven secrets can be the difference between just moving and relocating your family’s roots.

Meeting friends and going places

You can help your children meet new neighbors, schoolmates and friends by hosting a ‘Get to know me’ party for Halloween, President’s Day or July 4th. If there’s not a holiday in the near future -- create one. Hosting a ‘Mad-Monday’ balloon fight or ‘Fabulous Friday’ bar-b-que or picnic gives your child the chance to meet new friends and feel comfortable in his new community. Inviting parents of the children in the neighborhood or your child’s class gives you the chance to be acclimated in the area and meet potential car pool members or play date participants.

Upstate New York Relocation Coordinator, Patti Puma suggests scheduling a ‘kids showing’ for your children to be able to view the local parks, schools, and attractions. “I recommend bringing kids to look at homes and neighborhoods because the move affects them just as much as it affects us as adults,” says Puma. Changing schools and homes, making friends, and adjusting can be very frightening to kids. Including them in the entire process helps to alleviate their anxiety, gives them some empowerment in the move and sends the message that their feelings and concerns are being addressed. “I have set up several appointments with schools for children to tour them, meet teachers or to see the neighborhood and parks,” Puma adds.

Meeting everyone’s needs

“Parents shouldn’t be shy when dealing with realtors or relocation experts,” says Heidi Jessup, a licensed relocation consultant in Crystal Lake, IL. Counting on your realtor to be a partner in this new endeavor, it is important to remain aware of your goals and your child’s goals for the new area. Jessup adds, “Parents need to remember that each of you may have a specific set of expectations or needs.”

It is important for parents to keep sight of their needs and feelings associated with moving. Leaving your security network of friends, dog groomer, hairstylists or optometrists isn’t always easy. Relying on your relocation professional to supply you with a list of local businesses and professionals before arriving in your new community will offer some relief.

Amidst unpacking and ensuring your entire family is settling in, making time to enjoy a date night out with your partner is often relegated to the bottom of your relocation ‘to-do’ list. Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and author, Dr. Andrew Atwood, CSW, suggests couples be cautious of not letting the stress of moving take a toll on their relationship. “Because this can be a source of great personal and emotional stress and chaos, couples need to make the effort to spend time alone together to preserve their connection and strengthen their bond as a couple and as a parental unit,” he explains.

Testing out new restaurants, taking walks around your new neighborhood, or watching a movie together after the kids are tucked in bed are just a few options that parents can rely on to help ease the stress that relocating puts on a relationship. Dr. Atwood also reminds parents that relocating is not the time to be an emotional super hero. “A relocation diary or journal where you both can share your fears and hopes about moving is also quite insightful. Letting each other know how the move is affecting you personally and emotionally prevents the breakdown of communication and gives you both a source of comfort to rely on while your household is in transition,” he notes.

Get lost

Does your new town have a sister city? Where is the oldest house or business in your new town located? When was your town established or founded? A family field trip to the city hall or library provides the answers to these and other interesting questions as well as a great way to immerse your family in the culture and history of your new area.

Finding your way in a new town doesn’t have to be an auspicious task. Armed with a local map or an onboard guidance system, a few travel friendly snacks and a full tank of gasoline, exploring your new surroundings can be a great way to discover a terrific out of the way restaurant, historical landmark or picnic spot that your family will enjoy. “A few weeks after we moved in, we all piled into the car and just started driving,” explains recently relocated Liz Collins of Algonquin, Illinois “we got lost several times, but quickly learned that we were resourceful and could explore new ways to get home.”

~ Gina Roberts-Grey is an experienced family, parenting, pets and women's issues writer. She is a frequent contributor to numerous parenting publications and has provided feature columns to more than 100 Regional, National and International publications. Her work has been translated into Arabic, Chinese, French and Spanish, as well as reprinted in educational material.
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