Marriage Counseling

You’ve probably landed on this page because your relationship with your husband or wife is in trouble, and you’re considering marriage counseling. If this describes what’s going on in your life right now, stay with me for just a few minutes because I believe I can help you.

You’re probably wondering how a total stranger could possibly help you heal your broken relationship -- right? That’s a good question and, fortunately, one that I can answer. Sometimes it takes a helper who’s removed from the heat of battle – someone who’s standing outside the fray – to stir a little objective thinking.

I’d like to share some of the major benefits of marriage counseling. You can use these benefits to promote healing in your own relationship. Or, maybe you can share them with a friend who’s considering marriage counseling.

What are the benefits of marriage counseling?

Let’s look at the first one: Marriage counseling -- a great opportunity.

Marriage counseling provides an opportunity for a couple to demonstrate their willingness to heal their relationship.

Sometimes it takes making an appointment with a marriage counselor for both parties to understand the seriousness of their situation. Often one person is more strongly motivated to seek assistance than the other. And sometimes, only one individual will actually keep the appointment. Whether marriage counseling starts with one or two, the important thing is to get started. While it’s certainly more effective to have both the husband and wife present for marriage counseling, it’s possible for a helper to accomplish a great deal with only one.

Here’s the second benefit: Marriage counseling -- increased understanding

Marriage counseling helps a couple to understand the nature of their problems, often from more than one perspective.

Often, when people are hurting in a relationship, they are so intensely focused on their own pain that they might forget what another may be going through as well. In marriage counseling, couples are encouraged to look at their problems from each other’s perspective. This often brings a better understanding of and appreciation for the feelings of the other person in the relationship.

Also, depending on which counseling approach is used, much marriage counseling time may be spent talking about each partner’s family of origin and how family members have related to each other. This technique can help counselees see possible connections between past and present behavioral trends.

The third benefit is the most important of all: Marriage counseling -- caring and sharing

Marriage counseling helps a couple exchange ineffective communication strategies for more meaning ways of sharing with each other.

Marriage counseling often helps couples to understand how ineffective communication styles have damaged their relationship. When husbands and wives learn more meaningful ways of sharing with each other, their relationships often show marked improvement. It’s often amazing how relationships can be improved when couples learn a few, easily implemented communication techniques.

Marriage Counseling ~ some final words of hope for hurting relationships …

As a minister and pastoral counselor for more than 20 years, I’d like to share with you one very important discovery I’ve made while counseling with hundreds of couples. It’s so important that I’m going to put it in bold letters too -- so you won’t miss it.

Couples who approach marriage counseling with a strong desire to improve their communication often bring about healing in their relationship.

There is no magical quick-fix. Marriage counseling requires motivation, hard work, and a willingness to allow the miracle of forgiveness to heal broken hearts.

I wish you all the best in your endeavor to bring wholeness to your marriage!
~John



About the Author: Dr. John W. Luton


Before joining the mass communication faculty at Elizabeth City State University in North Carolina, Dr. Luton served as pastor of churches in Maryland and North Carolina for more than 20 years. He is a licensed clinical pastoral counselor with the National Christian Counselors Association and he holds the advanced certification.

Dr. Luton is also the primary author of Mastering Pastoral Counseling Utilizing Temperament, a Phase II course that is offered by the NCCA as part of its national licensure program for pastoral counselors. The course is used in many seminaries and counselor training centers throughout the nation.