Being in a loveless marriage is a frustrating predicament, but it may not necessarily mean that a divorce is eminent. Solving the quandary of a loveless marriage requires self-reflection to assess the situation, courage to try to create a team effort for the best decision with your spouse, and gumption to face the reality that a divorce may be the best solution for the loveless marriage.
But, before you jump right to the easy way out and decide on divorce, you should got through the process of making sure that you have logically thought through long-term implications of ending the loveless marriage.
Being in a loveless marriage and deciding whether to get a divorce based on this one fact alone is a misuse of an opportunity. Its not like deciding whether to stay married due to an extramarital affair or other marriage problems like abuse or living in a sexless marriage, choosing the right divorce decision when it comes to a loveless marriage is a totally different situation.
The opportunity is great to grow personally that is present when you're deciding about divorce because of being in a loveless marriage. Let's take a look at some of the items that are relevant to this situation regarding a loveless marriage and how you can approach this
time in your life from a mature standpoint and come to the right choice while growing at the same time.
Loveless marriage item 1: Define love as you see it and assess whether or not your spouse agrees somewhat with you, at least in a complementary fashion.
For a loveless marriage to be assessed properly, making sure your idea or definition of love is "clear" is a solid way to make sure that you know what you've lost. And, if your spouses idea of what love is differs from yours so much that you both can't somewhat reap the
benefits of love, you may need counseling to get to the root issue of your loveless marriage.
Loveless marriage item 2: Make sure that you are in fact out of love before you go further with steps to divorce or try to work it out.
Ask yourself, "Am I really out of love or am I giving up?". Keeping love alive can take work and strong communication with yourself and spouse. List the reasons why you think you're out of love and decide if those reasons prohibit a rekindling of love, assuming you were actually in love at some point. Being in a loveless marriage doesn't necessarily mean that it has to stay that way!
Loveless marriage item 3: Decide if you were ever really in love as you define love.
Your loveless marriage could have always been loveless, you may have just been to distracted to notice. You may have received other benefits from being with your spouse in the past that you aren’t getting now and that could be why you're frustrated and living in a loveless marriage.
Of course, if you were in fact in love with your spouse at one time in the past, you both might not have done what needs to be done to keep love alive. Before you do anything about your loveless marriage, make sure you understand how your idea of love may have changed over time, and really contemplate if you were really ever in love.
Loveless marriage item 4: Assessing whether or not you need to be in love to stay married and if so, can your love be re-kindled?
This item regarding a loveless marriage is a crucial point in your decision making process. Some people stay married even when they are in a loveless marriage because the benefits they get from being married psychologically outweigh the need for love. These benefits could many things and could stem from lack of self confidence, money, fear of loneliness, etc.
If you're a person who needs love to stay married, make sure that you really think about how rejuvenate the love in your loveless marriage before you decide on divorce. If you're struggling regarding a decision about your loveless marriage, it means that it is worth fighting for.
If you really do soul searching and talk with your spouse openly about the lack of zest in your marriage in the hopes of making it better, you may find that your spouse feels the same way that you do!
Being a loveless marriage can be a drain on your day to day energy if you need love to stay happily married. If your marriage is worth it to you, be mature about the situation and do all you can to rekindle the love before you do anything else. If you do, you'll grow personally as
will your spouse regardless whether or not you get a divorce.
Karl Augustine
Tuesday 17 November 2009
Monday 16 November 2009
10 Things Women Should Know About Sex After Having a Baby By Laurel Barnet Platinum Quality Author
Your whole life changes after having a baby. You may be starting to wonder about how your marriage and sexual relationship will change once your are parents. Read on to discover ten things that you should know about sex after having a baby.
1. Waiting for Sex
How long do you have to wait to have sex after having a baby? Usually you can resume sex four to six weeks after delivery before having sex. Talk to your health-care provider about when it is safe for you to have sex again.
2. “I Haven’t Got Time for The Pain”
If you had an episiotomy, then you may have some discomfort when you first have sex. There are two things that can help: water-soluble lubricant and position yourself on top and your partner on the bottom. If you are on top it is easier to move into a more comfortable position if your partner touches a sensitive area.
3. Another Pregnancy?
You can get pregnancy fairly soon after delivery, even if you are breastfeeding. I have had patients get pregnant in less than six weeks. If you do not want to get pregnant immediately, then use birth control.
4. Your Post-Baby Body
Your body is no longer the same after having a baby. Some of the changes you can work on through exercise and diet. Other changes are permanent.
You may feel self-conscious about your post-baby body. On the other hand, your husband still thinks you are sexy and enjoys seeing your body.
5. Are You Listening?
You may find it hard to stay focused on sex when you are listening for the baby. This may get easier as the baby gets older and does not wake up as often.
6. The Baby is Wet But You Are Not
Breastfeeding can cause vaginal dryness and pain with sex. Use a water-soluble lubricant or talk to your health-care provider about using vaginal estrogen.
7. You Might Prefer Sleep Over Sex
Fatigue is one of the most common causes of low sex drive in women. New moms are usually sleep deprived and exhausted. It is not uncommon for your sex drive to diminish.
8. Super-Mom and Super-Sex Goddess?
A lot of women have trouble going from being mom to lover within a few minutes. Take some time to unwind before sex to help you change roles.
9. There is a Baby in Your Room
You may feel uncomfortable having sex if your newborn is in a bassinet in your room. A young baby will not be aware of what you are doing. If you are having trouble relaxing try having sex in a different room.
10. The Sex Exercise
The vagina gets stretched out during pregnancy and childbirth. Kegel exercises can help tighten and strengthen the pelvic muscles.
Having a new baby is an exciting time filled with wonder and awe. It is easy to get so caught up with the baby that you neglect your marriage relationship. The most important gift you can give your baby is a stable family and that includes a strong marriage. Sex is just one part of having a strong marriage.
If you are ready for more information about how to keep your marriage strong, the visit our website at [http://www.BuildingYourDreamMarriage.com].
I would like to invite you to discover how you can be "Daytime Parents and Nighttime Lovers" at [http://www.SexTipsForParents.com].
Sex is to marriage what hot is to soup. You can have one without the other, but it is not nearly as palatable. Good luck in building your dream marriage- Laurel Barnet
1. Waiting for Sex
How long do you have to wait to have sex after having a baby? Usually you can resume sex four to six weeks after delivery before having sex. Talk to your health-care provider about when it is safe for you to have sex again.
2. “I Haven’t Got Time for The Pain”
If you had an episiotomy, then you may have some discomfort when you first have sex. There are two things that can help: water-soluble lubricant and position yourself on top and your partner on the bottom. If you are on top it is easier to move into a more comfortable position if your partner touches a sensitive area.
3. Another Pregnancy?
You can get pregnancy fairly soon after delivery, even if you are breastfeeding. I have had patients get pregnant in less than six weeks. If you do not want to get pregnant immediately, then use birth control.
4. Your Post-Baby Body
Your body is no longer the same after having a baby. Some of the changes you can work on through exercise and diet. Other changes are permanent.
You may feel self-conscious about your post-baby body. On the other hand, your husband still thinks you are sexy and enjoys seeing your body.
5. Are You Listening?
You may find it hard to stay focused on sex when you are listening for the baby. This may get easier as the baby gets older and does not wake up as often.
6. The Baby is Wet But You Are Not
Breastfeeding can cause vaginal dryness and pain with sex. Use a water-soluble lubricant or talk to your health-care provider about using vaginal estrogen.
7. You Might Prefer Sleep Over Sex
Fatigue is one of the most common causes of low sex drive in women. New moms are usually sleep deprived and exhausted. It is not uncommon for your sex drive to diminish.
8. Super-Mom and Super-Sex Goddess?
A lot of women have trouble going from being mom to lover within a few minutes. Take some time to unwind before sex to help you change roles.
9. There is a Baby in Your Room
You may feel uncomfortable having sex if your newborn is in a bassinet in your room. A young baby will not be aware of what you are doing. If you are having trouble relaxing try having sex in a different room.
10. The Sex Exercise
The vagina gets stretched out during pregnancy and childbirth. Kegel exercises can help tighten and strengthen the pelvic muscles.
Having a new baby is an exciting time filled with wonder and awe. It is easy to get so caught up with the baby that you neglect your marriage relationship. The most important gift you can give your baby is a stable family and that includes a strong marriage. Sex is just one part of having a strong marriage.
If you are ready for more information about how to keep your marriage strong, the visit our website at [http://www.BuildingYourDreamMarriage.com].
I would like to invite you to discover how you can be "Daytime Parents and Nighttime Lovers" at [http://www.SexTipsForParents.com].
Sex is to marriage what hot is to soup. You can have one without the other, but it is not nearly as palatable. Good luck in building your dream marriage- Laurel Barnet
3 Marriage Relationships Tips To Keep Relationships and Marriage Love-Fille
Marriage relationships can be the most fulfilling life experience you will ever have -- or the worst! You are clearly wise enough to value your relationships and marriage, and to want to make them as special as can be. So what can you do to make your marriage relationships blissful and harmonious, loving, passionate and romantic? Here are 3 tips to keep the sparkle in your relationships and marriage....
1. Relationships as a work of art
What makes a painting valuable? Usually it's the rarity of the painting (there's only one), and the mastery of the artist. Your marriage relationships are just as rare. Nobody can duplicate exactly your marriage or love relationship. It's unique. And that makes it special. If you add to that the attention and care that you choose to give your partnership, you can see how valuable it really is. Start to appreciate your relationships and marriage more. Reframe the way you look at it. Take time to enjoy it. Luxuriate in what is wonderful about it and be sure to express lots of appreciation to your partner for every little thing. And appreciate yourself too -- you created this -- and you will make it even better!
2. Marriage as a pathway to self development
Marriage knocks the sharp edges off you and rounds you out as an individual. In the best marriage relationships, both partners strive hard to keep on improving and growing. That way they remain attractive and interesting to one another. Don't settle into a relationship. Life is an adventure in growth and development. Always strive to improve. Look for ways to be more loving. Exercise your creativity to surprise and delight your partner -- we all want to have fun, especially us gals!
3. Marriage relationships as a focus for love
When you and I eventually leave this mortal coil, it will be the relationships we formed and the love that we gave and received that will be most meaningful for us. Make LOVE your focus in life and your life will be so very rich. Let your marriage relationships be your major life project, your purpose if you will. Learn to give more and to put more love into your relationships and marriage. See just how far you can go and keep pushing back the borders of your love. What a truly wonderful life you will create. As you focus love in on your primary love relationship, and it flourishes under your touch, you will soon find yourself pouring love into all your relationships with family, friends and the world. Such actions make this world a better place.
1. Relationships as a work of art
What makes a painting valuable? Usually it's the rarity of the painting (there's only one), and the mastery of the artist. Your marriage relationships are just as rare. Nobody can duplicate exactly your marriage or love relationship. It's unique. And that makes it special. If you add to that the attention and care that you choose to give your partnership, you can see how valuable it really is. Start to appreciate your relationships and marriage more. Reframe the way you look at it. Take time to enjoy it. Luxuriate in what is wonderful about it and be sure to express lots of appreciation to your partner for every little thing. And appreciate yourself too -- you created this -- and you will make it even better!
2. Marriage as a pathway to self development
Marriage knocks the sharp edges off you and rounds you out as an individual. In the best marriage relationships, both partners strive hard to keep on improving and growing. That way they remain attractive and interesting to one another. Don't settle into a relationship. Life is an adventure in growth and development. Always strive to improve. Look for ways to be more loving. Exercise your creativity to surprise and delight your partner -- we all want to have fun, especially us gals!
3. Marriage relationships as a focus for love
When you and I eventually leave this mortal coil, it will be the relationships we formed and the love that we gave and received that will be most meaningful for us. Make LOVE your focus in life and your life will be so very rich. Let your marriage relationships be your major life project, your purpose if you will. Learn to give more and to put more love into your relationships and marriage. See just how far you can go and keep pushing back the borders of your love. What a truly wonderful life you will create. As you focus love in on your primary love relationship, and it flourishes under your touch, you will soon find yourself pouring love into all your relationships with family, friends and the world. Such actions make this world a better place.
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