- Coping With the Loss of a Child

When the tragedy of losing a child impacts your marriage negatively, try to live each day fully and focus on the present.

Don't lose the richness of each day by worrying about the future or fretting about the past. Yes, your past history is with you always, but not to dwell on. Planning is important, and preparing for the future, but don't sacrifice today in the process.

If you focus too much on the past and on the future, losing today, you can also jeopardize your marriage. This is one of the areas that is critical for couples to talk about.A little over thirty years ago, during the summer, we lost three babies. Little Angel was a miscarriage victim when Sheri was only four months pregnant. Susan Sarah was born at 5 1/2 months, and weighed just over one pound. She lived seven days. Teresa Rose was a full term baby, but was diagnosed as a trisomy 18 victim. She lived eight days. Although these babies entered our lives briefly, they each taught our family much.

As we dealt with our sadness, and talked with one another about our feelings, we also learned to recognize the importance of each day. One day, after experiencing a near automobile accident on our way to the hospital to visit Susan, we realized that she could have outlived us. That moment changed us forever.

Instead of focusing on how we would probably be losing her, we focused instead on the gift she was to us. We decided to rejoice in each day we had with her. This was a major step towards our healing one another.

The past is important. You can never get away from it. You can, however, learn from it, and get on with life.

Plan for the future. Remember, you can always cross a bridge when you get to it.

Don't lose today. Live it to the fullest. Make this decision together. Do it together.